In a world where offense seems to be the currency of social interaction, how can we as believers navigate the choppy waters of hurt feelings, misunderstandings, and genuine wrongs? The path to spiritual maturity is often paved with challenges, but it's through these very trials that we have the opportunity to grow into the people God intends us to be.
Let's start with a truth that might be hard to swallow: offense is inevitable. Jesus Himself didn't sugarcoat this reality. We will be offended by friends, family, spouses, leaders, and even fellow church members. But here's the kicker – while being offended is unavoidable, staying offended is a choice.
The Greek word "skandalon" gives us insight into the nature of offense. It means "trap" or "bait stick." This imagery is powerful because it reveals that offense isn't just an emotion – it's a spiritual trap. Satan uses offense as bait, hoping to ensnare believers in bitterness and resentment.
But what if we could reframe our perspective on trials and offenses? James 1:2-8 offers a radical viewpoint: "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."
At first glance, this seems counterintuitive. Joy in trials? But James isn't calling us to feel joy; he's urging us to choose joy. Why? Because God often does His best work when life feels at its worst. Trials aren't punishment – they're proving grounds. Just as gold is refined by fire, our faith is refined through hardship.
Think of it like learning to drive in a storm. It's uncomfortable and nerve-wracking, but that's precisely the point. You'll never gain confidence as a driver if you only venture out on sunny days. Similarly, God allows pressure in our lives not to break us, but to form us.
Perseverance is key in this process. As James continues, "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." God isn't just after a faith that starts strong – He wants one that finishes well. Some of us want breakthrough without the build-up, but spiritual maturity is cultivated through active trust over time.
Imagine pulling a cake out of the oven too early. It might look good on the outside, but inside it's a gooey mess. Sometimes we ask God to pull us out of the "oven" of trials too soon, but He says, "Let Me finish what I started."
So what does spiritual maturity look like in practice? Proverbs 19:11 gives us a clue: "A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense." Mature faith doesn't just react; it responds with wisdom, patience, and perspective. It's about overlooking what's petty, confronting what's necessary, and forgiving what's hurtful.
But let's dispel some myths about spiritual maturity:

1. It doesn't automatically come with age or time in church. Maturity comes through obedience, not just time.
2. Knowing the Bible inside and out doesn't necessarily equate to maturity. It's about application, not just knowledge.
3. Mature Christians still struggle – they just struggle well. They know how to repent, ask for help, and stay grounded in God's truth even in hardship.
4. Even mature believers experience offense – what changes is how they respond to it.

When we're in the midst of trials or dealing with offense, it's natural to ask "Why, God?" But perhaps a better question is "What now, God?" James 1:5 encourages us: "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
God may not always provide explanations, but He offers something better – wisdom. This wisdom helps us see our trials from heaven's perspective. It's not just about knowing what to do; it's about learning to see as God sees.
However, when we ask for wisdom, we must believe and not doubt. This doesn't mean we can't struggle or question, but we shouldn't let doubt be our default position. Our faith should be anchored in God's unchanging character, not in our fluctuating feelings or circumstances.
Practically speaking, how do we cultivate this kind of mature faith that can withstand offense and grow through trials? James 1:19-25 offers some guidance:

1. Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
2. Get rid of moral filth and evil, humbly accepting God's word.
3. Don't just listen to the word – do what it says.
4. Look intently into God's perfect law and continue in it.

Carrying offense is like walking around with a stone in your shoe. You might still be moving, but you're not walking right. Eventually, it slows you down, hurts more, and causes damage. Jesus doesn't just want us moving – He wants us moving in freedom.
Ephesians 4:29-32 exhorts us to "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger... forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." Bitterness keeps us bound to pain, while forgiveness opens the door to freedom and growth.
In conclusion, the journey to spiritual maturity is not about avoiding offense or escaping trials. It's about allowing God to use these challenges to refine us, shape us, and grow us into the image of Christ. It's a process that requires perseverance, wisdom, and a willingness to forgive.
As we navigate the complexities of relationships and the inevitability of offense, let's remember that our goal is not to be unoffendable, but to respond to offense with grace, wisdom, and maturity. In doing so, we not only grow in our faith but also reflect the character of Christ to a world desperately in need of His love.